It seems that the RSS implementation made some assumptions about the format of RSS.  Of course, being nothing but XML, "Extensible" is an important term - to the point that I feel the tags are too limiting.

Many podcast RSS generators default to iTunes as the go-to for making sure the podcast renders correctly - why? Who knows.  It's annoying.  But it is what it is.

95% of the tags seem to work with some tweaking.

The big one?  Image.

In most of the podcast hosts, they're putting the tag as 

Which of course means we can't call it using the tags I'm seeing.

What's a way to get around this?  The campaign template I've got is perfect EXCEPT for this gap, and that's one of the most important things to have.